| is there anything in this world worst than losing a person or thing that you love?
for an object, you can only hope that you would find it at the lost and found...
but...when its a person and friend, what can you do?
its funny, but the past couple days, with an arrival of a new piece of furniture, we decided to totally reorganize 2 rooms on the second floor....
it was like starting a catalyst, suddenly we were throwing things out left and right, it seemed like we were moving out!
sifting through many many things, i suddenly found an old birthday card....
i opened it up, read the things inside and....smiled a big smile...but at the same time i felt so sad.
i had totally forgotten about this card and its contents.
i sat there and thought: he really wrote me this card before?! how come i can't remember it?
i still remember when i first found out this friend was moving back to HK...
i was unhappy because i knew that he was one of the best guys i know, a really great friend, and true person.
i realized how hard it was to find another friend like this, but he had to go his own way, and I was happy for him.
speed forward a year later, we had not much contact, but surprise! on my birthday he remembered, and sent me a bday email!
i felt so humbled that he still took the time to give me well wishes...and still thought of me as a friend.
sadly though, that was the last year he wished me a happy birthday.... even though i know that being a friend does not equal to remembering to say "happy birthday", i still felt that i had lost a friend.
its true that as distance separates people, they draw further apart, and slowly forget one another...
but in my heart, i still hope that you truly see me as a friend, as i still do.
i look at the words you wrote in that card, and i wonder what goal had i written all those ago?
but it does not matter, because what i keep close are your last words:
"just ask if i could help ok?"
it is the eve of my birthday again la
will i receive your well wishes tmr?
if i do, maybe i have found my friend once again =)
a song i loved in the 90s, that i found again.
So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees
I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight
She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge
Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me
PS. i still think the lead singer from the wallflowers is gorgeous, his eyes! |
